There is Hope

Those of us who have been abused as a child can either spend our lives being victims of the abuse, or we can go on to survive and become strong inspite of the abuse. I chose to survive.

Believe me, it wasn’t easy. I received therapy, cried a lot, had flashbacks, was angry, cried some more, then learned to cope. I’m doing pretty well, but still carry some of the baggage with me today. Certain scents, like a particular cologne, or the way a man’s hand is shaped will make me tense. The feeling goes away relatively quickly, but it’s still a reminder of what was done to me. I try not to let the abuse be the label I carry around with me because doing so lessens the work I’ve done and how far I’ve come in my battle to be free of it. 

I had to accept that I had no control over what was done to me, but I do have control over what I do with it. I had to be able to look myself in the mirror and know that it’s okay to be me, warts and all. And I did.

Yes, we are forever changed the second someone takes our childhood in their hands and betrays our trust, but there is hope for a better future. It just takes a little hard work and determination to not let them control you any longer.

You can do it. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different.

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3 Comments

  1. Bonnie said,

    August 2, 2009 at 1:17 AM

    Truer words were never spoken. I too still carry that burden of child molestation around with me. I also realize “I was not to blame” for what happened. I am a SURVIVOR.

  2. Kathy said,

    August 2, 2009 at 7:38 PM

    I am survivor of sexual abuse as a child. You are so right, even a smell can bring the memories flooding back. I Believe that it has made me the strong , independent woman that I am today. I will not let the bad memories contol me or my life. I had enough of that as a child.

  3. Kelly Pocan said,

    August 2, 2009 at 7:53 PM

    Bonnie: Unfortunately, some people find it hard to not blame themselves. I’m happy you have found that strength.

    Kathy: I’m sometimes suprised when a sensory memory hits me like that. You just never know when it’s going to come up. It sounds like you’ve come a long way though.


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