There is Hope

Those of us who have been abused as a child can either spend our lives being victims of the abuse, or we can go on to survive and become strong inspite of the abuse. I chose to survive.

Believe me, it wasn’t easy. I received therapy, cried a lot, had flashbacks, was angry, cried some more, then learned to cope. I’m doing pretty well, but still carry some of the baggage with me today. Certain scents, like a particular cologne, or the way a man’s hand is shaped will make me tense. The feeling goes away relatively quickly, but it’s still a reminder of what was done to me. I try not to let the abuse be the label I carry around with me because doing so lessens the work I’ve done and how far I’ve come in my battle to be free of it. 

I had to accept that I had no control over what was done to me, but I do have control over what I do with it. I had to be able to look myself in the mirror and know that it’s okay to be me, warts and all. And I did.

Yes, we are forever changed the second someone takes our childhood in their hands and betrays our trust, but there is hope for a better future. It just takes a little hard work and determination to not let them control you any longer.

You can do it. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different.


  1. Bonnie said,

    August 2, 2009 at 1:17 AM

    Truer words were never spoken. I too still carry that burden of child molestation around with me. I also realize “I was not to blame” for what happened. I am a SURVIVOR.

  2. Kathy said,

    August 2, 2009 at 7:38 PM

    I am survivor of sexual abuse as a child. You are so right, even a smell can bring the memories flooding back. I Believe that it has made me the strong , independent woman that I am today. I will not let the bad memories contol me or my life. I had enough of that as a child.

  3. Kelly Pocan said,

    August 2, 2009 at 7:53 PM

    Bonnie: Unfortunately, some people find it hard to not blame themselves. I’m happy you have found that strength.

    Kathy: I’m sometimes suprised when a sensory memory hits me like that. You just never know when it’s going to come up. It sounds like you’ve come a long way though.

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